When Robert Grummich woke up in his coop he felt great. His skin powdered, his lungs strong, and his ass nipples acute. This had been his 862nd day sleeping in a chicken coop per doctor’s advice and he had never felt better. Grummich, a 98 year old now wheelbarrow repairmen and abstract sculptor spent much of his days in riding behind a truck or in a investment banking office. The spaces he inhabited never had poor air quality and his health had deteriorated. After being lethargic and in general decline his Doctor suggested a cure from an old wise tale.
“Chicken Shit” Doctor Bundy of Central Virginia Kaiser Permanente explains, “Its organic and full of nutrients that helps the soil grow and keep healthy. You keep making some logical conclusions you end up spreading it all over yourself to keep your body growing.” To be clear this has few supportive sources outside American and Western European Medical journals. Grummich took the doctors words for gold and began sleeping in the coop the day after the appointment and has been since.
Grummich explained in the interview, “I took one day off the coop and that was something I’ll never do again. Shits as runny as sriracha.” Who knows if the old trick worked or just another chicken coop myth.