Month: December 2017

Prophet Muhammad Pretty Jealous of Saudi Prince’s gold plated Lamborghini

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Allah had an “ah ha” moment when the prophet saw what one of his followers purchased and got pretty jealous. A gold plated Lamborghini was one of those things he just wasn’t able to save up enough to get while spending time on earth and really wished he had come later for a ride on these wheels.

Muhammad is known for some unique tastes, such as suicide bombings, and his envy is sure to throw questions on fans and worshipers. Isis combatant spoke out against the comment by the prophet saying he expected those things in the afterlife so why go through with the bombing of infidels if this is just as good.” Devout Muslim Gary Johnson of New Mexico thinks Muhammad is turning a page, “he is growing up and realizing you can’t win favor on earth if all your followers kill themselves so he is moving onto cars. Its more fashionable and gold.”

AIDS quilts in review: “Not as Warm as Desired”

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Many consider AIDS a sad thing of the past, but one thing positive many thought AIDS had given society was lots of nice quilts. However much like the people suffering with AIDS they have faded, become thin and ultimately wear out.

Spokesperson for Act up said “It was great at the time everyone came out and made quilts and we prided ourselves on the quality. But these people were weak and though artistic lacked that strength some quilt makers simply didn’t have in them. I’m not saying that they are not strong people its just their little hands and the little thread. Sorry I don’t want to cry.” Mike Pence has latched onto the issue showing a clear sign God hates gay people, because he would have made “more enhanced” quilts if he really liked them. More as this story progresses.