Mitch McConnell Comes Out of Closet as “Deeply Un-Homophibic”

Image result for mitch mcconnell

Earlier this morning, Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell shocked America at a press conference stating “I have been lying to the public my entire life. I really have no issue with gay people. I don’t see the big deal. Sometimes I am a little jealous of how happy a life they seem to lead.” This soft talk on homosexuality completely debases his stance of the last 40 years, and in doing so questions how long he has kept this kind empathetic opinion pent up inside him.

McConell, backed his stance up slightly at the end clarifying his point, “I want to state I am not gay, have no interest in partaking in fruitcake perry-winkling. I don’t like gay porn, I don’t want to see it but the mere fact that people are gay I couldn’t really give less of a shit about.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s