Anthony Bourdain verifies “Butter in Pocket” rumors

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For the last 35 years, every day when Anthony Bourdain wore pocketed pants he carried a stick of butter in his pocket. Rumors started online where an unusual bulge seemed to consistently appeared in his pants, eluding to a possible penis deformation that placed his genitals on his thigh instead of between the legs. But this was debunked by an undercover agent in a Norwegian sauna who spotted Anthony’s massive dong properly saddled between the hamstrings.

It was only after a busboy at La Diplomat in Washington DC noticed what appeared to be a pool of grease below the famous critic. After he began to clean it up Bourdain stopped him and said “Don’t worry about my little butter buddy, they come and go with the seasons.” He then ordered a fresh butter stick and promptly placed it in his pocket for future use.  “It is a childhood thing. I need at least one good stick of butter in my pocket.”

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