First Flesh-Light patented by Barry Goldwater

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Newly released documents from the patent office show former presidential candidate Barry Goldwater was one of four inventors on the invention. When he was 24 Goldwater was looking for a way to make some extra money when he thought of selling the personal pleasur-er he invented. “The jiggle pussy” as he called it “provided the comfort and wobble any good slice of roast beef would.”

His friends connected in the manufacturing industry, got together and decided to file a patent. Barry himself earned $200 dollars in royalties from his ‘Jiggle pussy’ but his market share would soon be swept up by priest Herbert Brownfinger of the southern NABLA delegation.

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